


Loathe Me (Grethan)

by eliospiano



Category: DolanTwins, Grethan - Fandom
Genre: Alcoholism, Love, M/M, Pain, Recovery, Twins, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliospiano/pseuds/eliospiano
Summary: Ethan and Grayson,22, were inseparable...until they weren't. But, time heals all things, and over time they’ll find themselves right back where they began. Where they belong. Together.





	Loathe Me (Grethan)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Lil baby language, alcohol, slight bullying warning. Also the song that inspired this story is titled “Run Cried the Crawling” by Agnes Obel, in case anyone wants to check it out. Enjoy!! :)

**Ethan**

“We had a bit of a falling out…I guess you 

could say”.

**_“Grayson! Grayson, please put it down-put the bottle down!”, he shouted to his brother over the loud music that blared through Grayson’s destroyed room._ **

**_His younger brother stopped in his tracks, eyes scanning the room before coming to a blazing halt on Ethan._ **

**_For just a moment, Grayson softened at the sight of his brother. Although he was nearly blackout drunk, he could see the hurt in Ethan’s eyes at the sight of his own self-destruction._ **

**_Just as Ethan thought that maybe he had won this battle, or had at least bought some time, Grayson’s features began to shift._ **

**_What once was an unfocused gaze quickly twisted into a cold, sneering smile. He stood up straight, his posture making him somehow seem even taller than normal. The bottle in his hand was raised once again as he squinted at Ethan as if he was an unwelcome stranger._ **

**_He pointed with a blatant harshness, taking a sloppy step toward Ethan._ **

**_“And what the_** **fuck _are you going to do if I don’t,_ faggot _?”_**

“Okay then”, the man responded, breaking Ethan out of his trance. 

“What would you say was the cause of this? You were clearly very close before this ‘falling out’. 

Would you say it was a collection of small incidents? Or one cohesive problem?”

Ethan sat for a moment in silence, trying to come up with some sort of simple explanation. Stumped, he finally gave up, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. 

“Honestly Doc, it’s hard to say”.

•••

“On the rocks please”, Bryant replied to the tall, handsome waiter.

“You got it, and for you?”, the waiter inquired, smiling at the boy sitting opposite of Bryant, clapping him on the shoulder and gently squeezing as if they were old friends.

“Water is fine for me, thanks”, Grayson politely smiled back, noticing just how white the waiters teeth were. 

It annoyed him for some reason. 

Maybe because **_his_** teeth were always naturally white. But he knew he shouldn’t be thinking about **_him_**.

“Of course gentleman, I’ll be back with those in just a moment. If you need anything, my name is Chris”. 

“He was most definitely checking you out”, Bryant leaned over the table to whisper after Chris had walked away.

“Was not”. 

“What do you mean? He was clenching your shoulder like he planned to take you back to the kitchen with him, put you into a to-go container, and bring you home with him to eat after work. That man was checking you ouuuttt”, Bryant drags, teasing Grayson, who laughs while scanning over the extensive menu. 

“Hmm. I really didn’t think so, but whatever you say buddy”, he chuckles. 

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay with me…ordering a drink? I don’t want to tempt you-“

“No B, it’s fine. I promise. It’s good for me to be around it sometimes. Reminds me that it has no power over me anymore.”

“6 months sober next week, right? I think that calls for a celebration, don’t you?”, Bryant asks.

“Sure, maybe. Something light and fun? Only if you’re free though, I don’t want to take up too much of your time”, Grayson uttered, feeling like a burden already. 

The thought of his six months was of course celebratory, but also reminded him of everything he lost to alcohol. 

He also didn’t think it was fair for Bryant to help him celebrate something that should have never had to be celebrated in the first place. 

“Um, for you? Of course we’re doing something. You’re my best friend, man”, Bryant pleaded sincerely, giving Grayson an encouraging smile, 

“At some point you’ve got to stop beating yourself up, Grayson”. 

“Hmmm”, Grayson only made an indifferent noise, his mind wandering to hazel eyes and dark brown hair. 

•••

**Ethan’s POV**

“Our time is up for today Ethan, but I feel like we’ve covered a lot. I’d like to see you again next week if you’re available. Do you have any questions?”

“No, not really, but I appreciate all of your help Doc, and look forward to seeing you soon”, I reached out to shake his hand.

“Likewise, Ethan”.

As I stepped out of the office it occurred to me just how hungry I was. I grabbed my phone to scroll through and see if anyone might want to grab dinner. 

I’m cautious not to pass the ‘F’ section of my contacts, not wanting to see _**his**_ name. If I do, I might have to call. 

There’s a new restaurant I’ve been dying to try. I text the only friend I really have. 

Me: Hey, you free? Dinner? I’m starvinggg

Emma: txt me the address. meet you in 15!! hungryyyy. 

I smile. Thank god for a friend who loves to eat. 

•••

**Grayson’s POV**

“But that’s what i’m saying! There’s so much drama going on at this point that it’s better to lay low and stay out of it rather than put yourself in a bad situation. You know?”, Bryant rants, digging into our appetizer with finesse. 

“Yeah man I totally understand...that’s awful about James though. Could ruin his career.”

“It could. And he doesn’t even have Emma anymore especially now that she’s all ‘buddy buddy’ with Eth-no, nevermind i’m sorry...I don’t know what I was thinking bringing that up.”

Grayson’s eyes shine at the name that almost rolled off of Bryant’s lips like a silk carpet. 

“Ethan? You mean she’s gotten closer to Ethan?”

**_“I_ said _, what the fuck will you do about it, fag?”, I yelled at him, his eyes turning from hopeful to hurt. It punched me in the gut to see his transformation at my words. I instantly hated myself for it. But was I going to stop? Drunk? No, not at all._**

**_“Can you hear me, prettyyyy boy?_ Homo _?”, I seethed, waiting for some sort of treacherous response from him, for any sign that I was doing the damage I intended to._**

_**The truth was I needed him to hate me.** _

_**To loathe me.** _

_**In order to keep myself away from him, I had to hit him where it hurt most. But he looked at me, dead in the face that night, and whispered,** _

_**“Get the fuck out, Grayson. I’m done with you.”** _

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty so here’s the first chapter! I’ve never written something like this before so please be gentle. If anyone wants me to continue let me know? Otherwise it’ll probably end up back in my drafts hahah. Thank you for reading! xx


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